Tesla Finally Unveils Their SUV!



By: Anthony Fongaro | September 2015


September 29th, 2015. This will go down in history as the day that Elon Musk, Tesla Motors CEO and soon-to-be Lex Luthor, finally launched the company's first SUV: the Model X. Tesla is extremely proud that they made this rolling technological masterpiece. People will not remember that the launch was almost an hour late or that the Model X was supposed to come out in 2014 because Falcon Wing doors! So what exactly is this uncompromising SUV?


As with every other Tesla, the Model X despises vehicles cursed with gasoline or diesel running through their disgusting veins. Instead, the Model X is an all-electric vehicle. Musk described the Model X as "...safer than jumping into a pool with a giant rock" (or something similar to that). 



Are you a doctor or someone that loves hanging out at hospitals? The Model X is right for you! Due to medical grade HEPA filters, the Model X is so sterile and clean, there is a Bioweapon Defense Mode which will protect you once the Apocalypse happens. And yes, this is a real setting.  A very timely and thoughtful feature. The Model X also earned a 5.8/5 star safety rating because it is an electric vehicle and according to Mr. Musk, gas/diesel engines will literally kill you. 



But you don't give a damn about how safe and zombie-proof the Model X is because of the Falcon Wing doors. Notice that they are not called "gullwing doors", which you can find on various supercars. That is because seagulls are stupid creatures while falcons are far superior. Translating back to doors, the Falcon Wing doors open on various hinges and sensors so they won't hit the top of your garage or the "old-school" SUV parked next to you. 


Now, remember this is an SUV. An SUV that has all-wheel drive like any other SUV. But, the Model X has a giant 90 kWh battery. There are two types of Model X's you can get. If you want a full seven mile range more, buy the entry level 90D. It goes from 0-60 mph in a very respectable 4.8 seconds. Unfortunately, the 90D isn't the one you want. Although the 90D has a 259 hp front and rear motor, the star in the Model X linup is the full meat-and-potatoes P90D.


The P90D has a 259 hp front, and a 503 hp rear motor. This means it goes from 0-60 mph in 3.8 seconds or 3.2 seconds with the Ludicrous Speed Upgrade. Yes, 3.2 seconds in an SUV that has six or seven seats. It also has an estimated range of 250 miles which means you will probably get 180 miles driving regularly and about 47 miles if you go Ludicrous! Is this necessary? Of course! It's as necessary as living on a man-made island shaped like France. 


rear end1

Pricing goes from $132,000 for the P90D Signature to for the $142,000 P90D Founder which includes the Ludicrous Speed Upgrade. Later next year, Tesla plans to come out with a most cost-efficient model which will cost around $80,000. Pricing has not been announced for the regular 90D model as of yet. 


So there you have it! The world's first premium electric SUV which is also the fastest. The Model X. Proving once again that Elon Musk is (not-secretly) trying to take over the (automotive) world. 

Photos courtesy of Tesla Motor Co.


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